In this same spirit, I decided to design my own BJJ personality quiz. Now, there are sites that will give you entertaining lists of just about every BJJ personality you can imagine, but for the sake of simplicity, I am including only the top 7 that I encounter. Of course, these are all grossly exaggerated and I am thinking of no one in particular as I come up with these caricatures. I am also making fun of myself as much as anyone else (if you train with me on the reg, you can probably figure out who I am among these choices).
Ready to begin? Let's see where you stack up!
1. Choose a gi:
b) I don't train in a gi. There are no gis on the skreets
d) I left my gi at home. I can't train today
2. Choose a song:
a) Tu-Pac "Hit em up"
b) The walkout song for the cage fight I have been planning for years
c) DJ Khaled "All I Do is Win"
d) Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song"
e) Right Said Fred "I'm Too Sexy"
f) Nicki Minaj "I am your Leader"
g) Lynyrd Skynyrd "Ew that Smell"
3. If your training partners could describe you in 1 adjective, it would be:
4. How do you react when you get tapped?
a) Run my mouth and bait him to do it again. I've got something for him next time!
b) Punch a wall. Then ice my hand
c) Think about what the Mendes brothers would have done differently
d) Know it is only because he is bigger, stronger, faster, and more flexible than me
e) Worry that my gorgeous face is now covered in gi burn
f) Teach my training partner how she could have tapped me better
g) Fart on her
5. What is your training pet peeve?
a) rules that prohibit talking during instruction time
b) sporty rules
c) people who roll for illegal moves in practice
d) to be honest, I haven't trained in a while
e) mat hair
f) people who don't listen when I am trying to help them
g) idiots who try to make me wash my belt
6. How do you spend your free time online?
a) blogging. Or talking smack to my training partners
b) watching street fights on youtube
c) watching BJJ tournament highlight compilations
d) emailing my instructor to explain why I haven't been at class this week
e) shopping for a cute new rashie
f) sending words of encouragement and helpful hints to those who need it
g) I can't find my computer right now. It might be buried under my pile of dirty dishes and laundry
7. What is your training motto?
a) Talk big to roll big
b) Stand and bang
c) A win by advantages is still a win
d) I'm going to start training again next week
e) Stay pretty and always protect your face
f) I am the assistant to the instructor
g) Get as much use out of my gis between loads of laundry as possible
8. What do you do when you are stuck in a disadvantageous position?
a) Talk smack to bait him to move on
b) Curse, panic, and spazz out. This would be death on the skreets
c) Scold myself for losing tournament points
d) Remind my training partner of my bad wrist/knee/shoulder/neck/pinky toe
e) Trust my raw sexual magnetism to get me out
f) Show my training partner how she can set up a submission from there
g) Wait for him to give me space voluntarily, due to my offensive odor
9. Choose a "going out" outfit:
d) I can't go out tonight. I need to call my grandma
Ready for your results??
If you got mostly a's...
You are a Mouthy Grappler. The one thing you enjoy more than training is talking. Whether you are blogging, gossiping, or talking smack, you always have something to say.
If you got mostly b's...
You are a Tough Guy Wannabe. You are untrained but don't realize it. Eventually, you'll learn. Tough don't make up for stupid.
If you got mostly c's...
You are a Sporty Grappler. Winning tournaments is your bag. You don't tell anyone, but you keep track of advantages while you are rolling.
If you got mostly d's...
You are an Excuse Generator. There are a million reasons not to train, and you have a dozen on hand at any given moment.
If you got mostly e's...
You are a Good Looking Grappler. You kick ass and look hot while doing so. Carry on.
If you got mostly f's...
You are a Self-Appointed Assistant to the Instructor. No one in the gym will ever be as helpful as you think you are.
If you got mostly g's...
You are a Stinky Grappler. You are no one's favorite training partner, for obvious reasons. When there is a staph outbreak, everyone looks at you.